You Wake up, you are full of worries about the coming day. The mind develops the chain of upcoming works, many of them, large and small, important and trivial, pleasant and boring, but mandatory, urgent. This kaleidoscope is one of the main concerns of your child. To Wake, feed, look after the clothes to send to school. You almost don’t realize their actions: all of my friends moved into a skill, a habit. What kind of habits? Did your child participate in cooking Breakfast? Helped to clear the table? Reminded of something, promised something? What mood takes the child to school? With what face says goodbye? How he responded to your last comment? What are your thoughts as you go to work?
Morning time is very compressed. Morning or charges you light spirituality, or leaves you in the bitterness of resentment, a poignant question, feeling pain, yet exist, but which might, after some time will be felt.
All I know is family, I would divide into three types. The first type is the ideal, where the morning brings satisfaction, joy, hope. The second type of medium, where the morning, said the Director do not worry, everything was okay, and everyone is busy with themselves to fulfil their obligations. And the third type — standalonesecrurity, where the first meeting is filled with open or secret discontent.
Let’s try to build all three models of the relationship to see the pros and cons of technology in everyday communication.
The ideal model. Imagine the following situation. You Wake up from a light touch of your child. He says: “it’s Time, mom. I turned on the kettle and iron. Breakfast is on the table. Today I got up, as we agreed, early — preparing for control”. At Breakfast father talks about his difficulties at work, stressing that he probably would still be able to complete the project. Son also said that his day is not easy. He said to his father: “don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” And the grandmother: “slippery Today — you don’t go to the store. Write down everything you need, I’ll buy”. Mom: “Go before you’re late, I’ll clear the table”.
The average model. First got grandmother. A cooked Breakfast. Rose mother, includes iron, pants stroking his son. Wakes father. The father gets up, washes, one has Breakfast, goes silently. Mother wakes son: “it’s Time”. Son: “Even a drop”. Mother negotiates with her grandmother on the cheek. Slightly fighting. Grandma: “it’s time”. Finally the child gets up, washes his face. Eats Breakfast, goes. Mom tries to kiss him, the son of dodges.
Negative model (controversial version). This model from circuit dislikes, anger, misunderstandings. Half an hour lasts a revival. Grandmother, grandson pushed his foot, crying. Mother: “don’t wail!” Tears finally blanket with my son. Son cringes and continues to lie. “Well what is it? — outraged mother.— How long will it last?” — “My stomach hurts,” says the son. “You lie!” — screaming mother. “Not lying, you’re lying,” answered the son, rising. Goes to the bathroom. “How much can I sit there?” shout grandmother and mother. “Stomach flu”— is heard much. Threats, entreaties.
“I’m not hungry!” — scandal. “I’m not going to the first lesson!” — scandal. “This shirt I can’t wear!” — scandal. “It’ll be a good sore — I’m wearing jeans” — again scandal. House heart-pounding sound, in a shaking voice. And crying grandmother: “how the hell should it such a disaster?”. Son mother threw a scarf that she tried to put on his neck, and I fell down the stairs.
If your relationship is akin to an “ideal model”, close that book, which you will add nothing.
If your relationship is based on the principle of the second model, read on, perhaps something you buy for yourself.
If it happened that your relationship is somewhere at the junction of the second and third model, or it was showing symptoms of “scandalous options”, let’s think, let’s try to see the origins of your mistakes, to understand the flaws of education.
. Take a look at the sleeping child. What is the purity and peace! Your child is beautiful. Contemplate this beauty. I worked for many years in scalarinterpolator with difficult children. Often in the morning, before rising, came and watched the faces of the sleepers. They really were beautiful and spiritual. Face which shone with kindness. Face, on which there was no fatigue, irritation, as if all evil were dropped along with clothes. And as the children were awakened, as they came to their senses, though they wore and the moral and ethical clothing in the form of habits, ingrained bad influence was a motley fabric of different feelings, moral properties, relations. •
Learn to separate all the bad from the best to the child
And these are great potential opportunities that are inherent in each. It is only necessary to create conditions so that clothing immoral behavior were necessarily dropped. They can break, it is necessary that the child himself dumped them, he parted with them.
Let us ponder at least the reasons not to get up. The first is physiological: the child did not sleep well. This means that he had a late night or a long time could not sleep, ate something strawsburg for the night and maybe a little was on the air. Oxygen deficiency leads to disturbed sleep, nervousness. Generally, engaging in moral upbringing, do not forget about the physical development of the child, about the physiological factors of his behavior.
The second reason is moral: the child is no good waiting for the upcoming day, nothing but troubles, troubles, tribulations, comments, shouts. Lessons not learned or learned bad, so, again, the fear of waiting for the call to the Board, deuce in the diary, strict teachers ‘ morality, insulting taunts of classmates. And so day in and day out!
Help the child to get out of the dark maze discomfort!
Remember: his rudeness and nervousness is the result of educational neglect, the result of your inattention to his Affairs. No stiffness requirements can help you to form a child’s personality, if you will not remove the causes. Abuse, threats, punishment only harden. That’s why there is no desire to Wake up. Life seems to be a living hell. And she is every child neglect.
And here must have compassion on the son or daughter, not just to cuddle, comfort, and help. Affection and pity in this case is not less harmful than the cry for compassion can only reinforce the feeling of hopelessness. The child is not yet able to articulate the reasons for their troubles. But intuitively understands that a simple’ sympathy cannot help him. Because it often irritates him. Because many children and rebel against suzukawa pedagogy, against various forms of pedagogical liberalism. Liberalism and pity to me recently, relieve the pain, smooth out contradictions without resolving them.
To warm the soul of the child, to make sure that he felt the joy of life, means to affect such aspects of his personality that will eventually lead the child to overcome their own alienation. No external changes will not produce metamorphosis, if the child himself does not become a generator. More specifically, external changes, in combination with their own children’s independence can give the desired outcome in education. Let us try to understand the complex mechanisms of these moral transformation.
So, our modest goal is to transition from a “controversial” morning option to the ideal model. I warn you, what I have proposed two dozen situations you can choose the ones that are best suited to your child. Of course, can be and others.